Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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