Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
