Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize