Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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