You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
