Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
