You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
