My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
