STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize