I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize