If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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