I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
