I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we made out on top of his cat.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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