Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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