i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
