pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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