I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
