It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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