Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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