Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
