I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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