TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
