it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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