The brown eye won't let me do that either.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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