If i come over, it means nothing
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
