STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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