If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize