the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
cat food counts as protein by the way
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
