Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
