Can i not drive my cunt home
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
