and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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