She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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