...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
