i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
