dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he shaved USA in his pubs
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
