its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
