How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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