I'm really into asian looking animals
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
