i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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