i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
pray to the hookup gods
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
