dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
