eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
