She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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