you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
