i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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