At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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