it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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