I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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