There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
