i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
