Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
