I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
