Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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