Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
