On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
