we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
