that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
