I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
