Moan for me like Helen Keller
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
True strength comes from lack of pants
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
